The Voice I Couldn’t Ignore

 

By age 5, I’d begun readying myself to be a writer. I’d sit at an imaginary desk and play like I was scrawling something. No one in my family wrote anything other than thank you cards. So I don’t know what I thought I was writing or why I was more enamored with pencils and paper than toys and television. But such was the case. 

When I won a junior high school essay contest, Me in 8th grade, the year I won the essay contestit occurred to me that I might have a knack for writing. If so, I directed most of that talent into penning love letters. My classmates would tell me what they wanted to say to their sweethearts, and I’d spiff it up a bit and give them a draft that they could copy in their own handwriting. 

When it came to romances, mine was the only one I didn’t manage well. A teen pregnancy shortchanged my education, causing me to all but give up on the idea of ever becoming a writer. But I kept writing in journals, chronicling my thoughts, hoping these musings might one day show me how and why I’d strayed off course. 

After not one, but two failed marriages, I finished college and decided to concentrate on the love I’d abandoned in high school: writing for others. That decision sent me back to college, this time to take fiction writing classes.

All went well until I was kicked out of my third course. 

My instructor said he didn’t want to see my face again. “Why are you STILL here?” He huffed. “Get out there and publish what you’ve already written.”

I left that professor’s instruction…and moved to a different university.

Meanwhile, I married my current husband of 22 years. As newlyweds, we vacationed in a tranquil, tropical destination. And it was there, in the village of Akumal, Mexico, that I received a command I couldn’t ignore. 

I dozed off, one night, to the sounds of ocean waves lapping just beyond our condo door. Though I don’t remember what I was dreaming at the time, my subconscious world was interrupted by a loud beckoning. 

“Diana,” a male voice called out to me. 

Intuitively, I knew that vocalization could have come from only one source. I was frightened, but I answered, “Yes?” 

“You’re supposed to be writing a book,” The Voice said. 

Now, I don’t think He meant I was supposed to be writing, right then, during my sleep. I understood this to mean I wasn’t writing as I’d been previously directed.   

I looked around and saw no one, yet I sensed this entity remained present. 

Like a misbehaving child, I argued, “Yes, I know. But you haven’t told me what the book is supposed to be about.” I mean, good grief, He’d given Moses the Ten Commandments. I was waiting for something equivalent. 

There was no sound of irritation when The Voice (and no, I’m not talking about the TV show by the same name) next spoke. “You’re supposed to write about your younger years. Go back to when you were a teenager,” He said. 

I needed specifics. “What about when I was a teenager?”

 “Go back and revisit all that you’ve experienced. You’ll find your answers there,” said The Voice.

 And then I woke up.

 I was angry at the sunlight filtering into the bedroom. How dare it lure me into consciousness before I’d received full direction!

The year was 1992, and that dream haunted me every day thereafter, until, finally, in 1998, I began writing the first draft of what would later become When Horses Had Wings.

 So why did it take me fourteen years to complete the book? Ah, well, that’s another blog post! But I promise to answer that question.

Diana

11 thoughts on “The Voice I Couldn’t Ignore

  1. I too, had a call to write since I was 9 years old. Like you, I didn’t do it either, but for different reasons … I didn’t have the confidence. Thirty years later I finally found the courage to believe in myself. Thanks for sharing your story. :-)

  2. I love this. I’m in sophomore in college and currently working on my first nonfiction book. It’s in the very early stages, but your post gives me hope that eventually I’ll be able to succeed.

    • You WILL succeed!

      I recall attending a book signing event, long before I’d written my first manuscript. As readers often do, I remarked to the author that “one day I hope to write a book.” She looked me straight in the eye, paused, and replied, “You WILL!” I’ve never forgotten the conviction in her voice. So imagine me looking at you and telling you the same thing!

  3. Hi Diana,

    I love the new blog. Even more, I love the honesty in this blog post. Your muse, God, or the funny voice in your head (take your pick) was absolutely right – we have to draw on the experiences that made us who we are, if we want to be able to write with any authenticity. Your success shows that you’re obviously doing a good job.

    Keep up the amazing work. :)

  4. Diana, having read your book, I can only say that the 14 years you put into writing it was well worth the wait. I truly enjoyed it (as well as your others). “Write what you know”…you did just that and made your characters, settings, and story line real and believeable. I’ve been a fan of yours since we first ‘met’ and to put it plainly, you’ve inspired me to continue persue my own writings.

    • Where does the time go, Karen? Seems like it was just yesterday that we were posting on the Writer’s Digest Forum.

      Keep writing!

  5. Pingback: The Choice to Write | When Horses Had Wings

  6. Pingback: The Fictional Memoir: Not An Autobiography | When Horses Had Wings

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